Ho’oponopono practice – does it really work? (How it helped me to transform my marriage and my life.)


It looked too simple to work as it was promised. All you needed to do is to focus about what troubles you and to say:

„I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.“

The idea is that we are all creators of what we experience, having a complete responsibility for the life we have created. We are responsible for both things we like and don´t like. The image on the outside is created by what we hold on the inside. So, in order to change our reality, we need to change how we feel and what we think. Once we change that, our reality is changing too. But many times, we are resistant to see that. We are stubborn to realize it is us who manifest situations we don´t like.  And many times, we are stubborn to accept that we need to change if we want to change the reality. We go into a never-ending cycle of blaming others, blaming different circumstances, having different excuses.

The Ho´oponopono  practice is helping you to do just that. It helps you to remove the resistance towards the inner change. The resistance to change comes from the fact that we usually think we know the best and that we are right about everything. Why should I change in any way if I know I am right? That is the point. Believing that you are right is just a mind game and most of the time, we are so wrong. On the other hand, we can be right, but as our perception changes, so our thinking does and where we thought we were right suddenly doesn’t matter anymore.

Anyway, I decided to try out this Ho ´oponopono practice and to see for myself.

„I am sorry. Please, forgive me. Thank you. I love you.“

The first time I tested Ho´oponopono was a couple of years ago.  As I have been on my path of ascension for more than a decade, I have been trying out many different things in order to get myself free from all the burden which makes me feel like a prisoner in this world.  I was already aware that what I see around me is the reflection of my innerself, so all the conflicts I have had with other people come from the conflicts I have had within myself. This time, with Ho´oponopono, every time I faced someone or something I judged at some level or had conflict with it, I instantly started saying „I am sorry. Please, forgive me. Thank you. I love you.“ The goal was to clear and integrate aspects of myself which I didn’t want to accept as part of myself. What happened as a result is that many of those people literally  stopped being part of my life, while with others, relationships improved. Unwanted situations changed, too. This practice works!

if you are interested to find out more about the practice of Ho ´oponopono, click HERE.


How the Ho´oponopono helped me to improve my marriage

The most intense experience I had with the practice of Ho´oponopono was when I was solving issues in the relationship with my husband. I remember when I went into a huge fight with him. We love each other very very much, and I really believe we are a very close soulmates, but we both have strong personalities and we can both be very stubborn. Also, we both have issues to deal with which shattered our beautiful relationship on many occasions. In the first two years of our life together, we had several fights which were just devastating.  Once we had a fight which lasted more then an hour. We were both so furious and were yelling at each other. The whole situation was out of control. I understood that he was expressing an aspect of myself, but I didn’t know how to end this fight. No matter what I said made him even more furious and the only thing I could do is to shut my mouth. At some point I remembered Ho`oponopono, which I had been practicing for some time, so I allowed him to continue to yell while I remained silent, perceiving him as an aspect of myself. A furious aspect, obliviously.

While I looked at him, I was silently telling myself, „I am sorry I am hurting you with this situation. Please forgive me. I am grateful for this valuable lesson. I love you very much.“

I started repeating it over and over again, while the voice of my husband became louder and louder. I kept repeating „I am sorry. Please, forgive me. Thank you. I love you.“  It seemed like the more I repeated the mantra, the louder and louder he became. It seemed like he had no intention of ending his monologue ever. But I kept on repeating.  I could not even count how many times I repeated „I am sorry. Please, forgive me. Thank you. I love you.“  Finally, he went silent too.  Then he started to cry.  Wow! That never happened before.  I was not sure if what I did helped, but this was certainly something different then before. He cried. Then we both remained silent. The fight was over. I was puzzled, almost hopeful that I made some progress. But still doubting, I was not feeling that anything was solved at that point.

The truth was, that fight was only a tip of an iceberg. In the years to come, we have been going through an ongoing process in which we both had things to solve. That night, the process was unlocked so it started to unravel slowly.

The dream.

The full realization of this powerful Ho ´oponopono practice came later in the night, when I had a vivid and a strong dream. Since I am a dream interpreter and have been interpreting dreams for more than I decade, I take my dreams very seriously and I do listen to them. In this dream, I saw both of my parents and they looked like they were some kind of robots. I was saying goodbye to them having no emotional reaction. I was completely calm and the moment later, they both just disappeared.

Symbolically, this dream meant that I was ready to say goodbye to the way my parents used to treat each other. They didn’t fight like we did, but there was obliviously a similar pattern in the way they triggered each other. My mother was analytical and my father emotional, which was similar to me and my husband. This is why we were fighting, he wanted to express his feelings and I wanted to rationalize his emotions. He wanted me to understand him, and I would make him furious by analyzing his emotions. This had to change. I was ready to change.  I was ready to let go of the pattern I unconsciously learned from my parents. In that dream, robot-like figures of my parents represented a „program“, an inherited programmed behavior I learned from them which served me no good. I realized that I was coping my parents  relationship unconsciously.  I was ready to leave that behind and I was saying goodbye to it.  When I woke up,  I knew that this was a start of a process in which I am to transform the relationship with my husband so that we don´t repeat the same mistakes like our parents did.

Some three years later, our relationship evolved. We still have things which sometimes get around, but nothing extreme like in the past. Not even close. My husband and I changed so much. I have change so much that I cannot even describe it. We both balanced our emotions and logic, and now we really understand each other.  We are still working together on our issues but it became so much easier then before. I am really thankfull for that.

I know that it is not only Ho `oponopono practice that helped me. To be honest, I do not use that all the time. Just sometimes, when a need arises. But I really do believe it is very helpful tool and I do recommend it to everyone.

One of the major changes I went through is that I opened my heart and my feelings became very intense. The transformation which was huge, made me a completely new person. I am now challenged with more serious issues I have to clear up from within, but I am also a much skillful and a stronger person that I was before. While I keep exploring different ways to remove emotional blockages and I follow the path of ascension, just recently I remembered that I could try out Ho˙oponopono again, practicing it on a whole different level. This is when I actually experienced the full impact of this practice. I will write more about it soon enough.




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