The Ho’oponopono is a very simple Hawaiian practice which can help you heal yourself and transform your life. If you practice it efficiently and long enough to start noticing the transformation. It can even help others around you.
This practice comes from the Hawaiian way of life, which states that we create all that is around us, thus we are completely responsible for everything we see around us. The only way to change what is outside is to start changing within. In order to do so, we need to be willing to accept that we are not perfect and that we have errors within, which we need to change. We have to change the way we think and believe and to take full responsibility of how our actions affects our reality.
The simple yet profound way to do it is to fully accept the responsibility for the way we feel about us and about others and to be willing to ask for forgiveness, to be grateful for all that is happening to us and to be able send our unconditional love to everything and everyone where the conflict exist. In a practical sense, what you do is put your intention to the person or a situation which you find conflicting and you say:
“I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
This seems very simple on a surface, but on a deeper level this creates an invitation to be healed. By doing this, you release your resistance towards any of conflicting situations, allowing yourself to accept and to let go of every attachment (usually a negative one) towards a person or a situation. The expecting result is that very soon you don’t have any unwanted emotions regarding these issues and you move on though your life into a more enjoyable direction.
This is explained in short, but if you are interested to read more I would suggest you to google a little bit, or you can check out this article HERE. I will also try to go into more details in this article, explaining my personal observations, effects and results this practice had on my own body, my emotional state and my chakras. Those of you who are already antiquated with this method and practiced it, may find this useful.
At the time I learned about Ho’oponopono , I had been dealing with a slow and difficult process of activating my heart chakra and I still knew very little of my own heart. My heart was closed most of my life, so I didn’t have any clue what was going on to me. I did practice many different techniques trying to resolve my inner conflicts but I obliviously were missiong a very important piece of the puzzle, and that was to be able to truly have FEELINGS for what I was doing within.
When I first tried the Ho’oponopono, the only thing I did was repeating the sentences: “I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” In other words, I had a positive intention to clear any conflict I had at a time and I had a strong desire, but I didn’t FEEL what I was saying. Those were just words, automatically repeated over and over again. It felt like working with positive affirmations, where the goal is to make yourself believe in what you are saying, hoping that what you believe will attract positive situations and change your life.
I did, however tested this it in many different situations and I found out that this really works, expect I had to repeat “I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you” in my head over and over again, while focusing on certain people I had conflict with, or thinking about situations which I didn’t like. What I noticed is that if I did it long enough I would eventually either stopped being troubled by those people/situations, or those people would suddenly disappear from my sight, or the situation would change in a positive way. But I would have to repeat “I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” over and over again. I had results, but I had to be patient and it would take some time until the change happens. Eventually, this became too boring and I stopped doing it for another couple of years. I wrote more about my previous experiences in other article Ho’oponopono practice – does it really work? (How it helped me to transform my marriage and my life.)
However, the true miracle results of practicing the Ho’oponopono came later, when I opened my heart chakra. The changes upon opening my heart were so dramatic that I was no longer the same person. (You can read more on experiences about heart chakra in the articles Why is important to open your heart (chakra)? and How to work on opening and expanding your heart chakra? )
Practicing Ho’oponopono from the brain and from the heart are two completely different things!
Upon the activation of my heart chakra, I started noticing feelings I didn’t have before, I was more sensitive emotionally and energetically, and also, I could feel what was going on within my body. I observed the energy within my body and my chakras and as I slowly progressed, I could feel the change within my personality too. This was a gradual process which brought many changes within me during the last two years. I must point out that I didn’t practice Ho’oponopo for a couple of years, and during that time I did other various techniques but mostly just observing my beliefs and what it did to my emotional state. I had many struggles and sometimes it took me a lot of effort and time just to make a small step forward, breaking my ego patterns.
At some point, with my heart newly opened, I remembered Ho’oponopono practice so I tried it again. To my amazement, this time I actually really felt what I was saying! I really felt that I am sorry, that I am grateful and that I really can send my unconditional love! This was something completely different from before! The results were almost instant, depending on how successful I was to awaken those feelings. And, the whole process lasted less then 1 minute! I didn’t repeat those words endlessly, I literally would do it only once and the process would be over! This time, I believe I fully understood the power of Ho’oponopono. It was about the feelings which allows you to transcend from lower emotions to divine emotions.
Every time I confronted anything bothering me, I would silently FEEL that I am sorry, I would FEEL that I am grateful, and then I would FEEL unconditional love!
I must admit that I didn’t read any of books about Ho’oponopono, so I really can’t say if I missed information before. I did however watch the video with Dr Hew Len, who at some point explains that if you practice enough this technique, you will be proficient enough to instantly clear any conflicts you may have literally as you go! I believe that Dr Hew Len is one of those who have an enormously opened heart and who can do wonders because of it!
There is a difference when people who have open heart speak of their own experiences not being aware that there are people who don’t have open heart, and vice versa. It is just not possible to understand both sides if you were not on both sides.
It was same for me. I could not understand how Dr Hew Len could instantly heal whatever he was healing. It is because emotions and feelings are the key and not repeating the words! This was new for me, but I happily explored further and observed the effect. At some point, I figured how to activate these feelings (being sorry, being grateful, and sending unconditional love) within every time I wanted to do Ho’oponopono. I started noticing that there was an energy movement within my body starting from lower chakras, then moving up to the heart and expanding it outwards as I emanate the last step, the unconditional love. Here is what I noticed.
Here is an example. Lets say you have a conflict with the person you cannot avoid. Just thinking about this person makes you angry or frustrated and you don’t know how to get rid of this feeling or how to solve this conflict. You wish this person just disappears, but of course you are well aware that it will not happen until you solve this problem within. Universe put this person right there, so that you can reflect your inner self and resolve your inner conflict. Obliviously, you cannot solve this problem by going directly into an argument because this will only make things worse. If you keep your mouth shout, it wouldn’t do any good as well because on an energy level the conflict is still going on. You will silently allow your ego to lead you into blaming that person and you will accumulate negative emotions within. The other party will pick up this energy unconsciously and as a result will create a resistance towards yourself, wanting unconsciously to protect itself. You will notice that the moment you enter the room, there is an uncomfortable feeling between the two of you. Sooner or later, someone will start the verbal argument which could end badly.
However, by switching the emotions of anger to the emotion of feeling sorry, you instantly change what you emanate to that person and he or she will lower the guard not even realizing it. The next day you enter the room, the unspoken conflict could be easily gone. This does not mean that you will become best friends, it means that you will no longer have any negative emotions towards that person. What can also happen is that one day, one of you will just move on and you will not see each other ever again.
This is what happened to me at my work. As a result, one of the colleagues quit her job, and the other didn’t bother me anymore. However, when I faced with my mother-in-law, it took me a lot more to clear this connections as my inner-conflict was far deeper and had origins in the relationship with my grandmother. Today, I can happily share with you that I managed to clear this conflict and I have very nice relationship with my mother-in-law.
I will share with you my finding on each step of Ho’oponopono:
First step: “I am sorry.”
The first step (saying “I am sorry.” and feeling it) would often be the most difficult, because if I was angry at someone it took me some time to persuade myself to switch from the emotion of anger to the emotion of feeling sorry. If I was angry, it didn’t make much sense to me to ask for forgiveness, especially if my ego was telling me that it was not my fault at all, and that other person is guilty for how I felt.
Sometimes I push myself to do it, because I know that it could take an instant to change. Once I finally get myself to do it, I would sometimes break down and cry, and in some more challenging situations I would cry a lot! I knew that crying was integral part of this process, so I welcomed this and I would cry as long as I needed in order to clear the blocked emotions as much as possible.
This step is very important because you have to clear the emotions which are stuck in your body. The blocked emotions are cause of illness. They are blocked because you were not able to express them freely. This mostly happens in the early childhood, when we are not aware of what is happening to us or we don’t have appropriate emotional support by others, so we lock emotions within. Later in your life, you attract situations in which these blocked emotions can be activated and cleared. Unconsciously, you recognize the similar situation like when you first experienced it and your blocked emotions activate again. But sometimes you need to push it a little, especially if those feelings are covered with anger, frustration or other emotions.
In most of the issues I was healing, I would first feel the uneasiness in my lower stomach when saying and feeling “I am sorry.”, as though the emotion of being truly sorry activates something there and allows me to feel sad and to cry it out. I know that sacral chakra is in that area, but this uneasiness I feel was somewhere between the sacral chakra and solar plexus chakra. I am not sure if this feeling came from the particular matter I worked on, but at least I am sharing this to give you an idea on how to observe your body. I was healing my sacral chakra a lot, and it is possible that feeling sorry was connected to this area of my body.
Anyway, the point is that you need to allow your emotions to be expressed. If you are angry, you cannot progress upward the emotional scale because you haven’t expressed what was going on in the background, and it is difficult to jump from the feeling of being angry to the unconditional love because they are on the opposite sides on the scale. So you need first to give a permission yourself to feel emotions which you holding back which is admitting that you were in a position which made you feel powerless.
We often feel angry because we cannot change what we don’t like, or we don’t have a power to influence what we don’t like. By admitting that, we instantly feel sadness and powerless and this is the emotion we need to allow and express. This can come as a need to cry, it is a feeling of breaking down and internally admitting that you felt powerless. But once you cried out all, you feel an easiness. This is when you already progressed on an emotional scale and there is no need for you to be angry as you accepted the position you are in.
Second step: “Please, forgive me.”
This is the step in which you acknowledge that your way of thinking produced other party to feel pain, uneasiness or any other unpleasant emotion. You probably didn’t want to hurt anyone, but you did it unconsciously, only by allowing your ego to lead you into an internal conflict. So, by asking the forgiveness, you accept your responsibility for your own actions. You can ask for forgiveness from this person or from yourself, or just ask in general. It does not matter. What matters is that you awaken this emotion. When I did this, I would feel almost the same uneasiness in my body like when I was saying “I am sorry.” but, there was a slight difference. It felt like the energy movement in my body went upwards, toward the solar plexus.
Third step: “Thank you.”
Showing gratitude is extremely important! To be honest, I never ever ever felt this feeling while my heart was closed. That is to say, most of my life! I truly didn’t know what was this felt like, I could only try to imagine it or to understand the concept of it, but I never truly felt it. In the process of Ho’oponopono, by showing gratitude, you are showing that you are grateful for everything you get without the judgement, harsh feelings, blaming others, anger, etc. You are grateful unconditionally. You are grateful for the lessons you learned and you activate the energy which then further attracts abundance.
When I come to the feeling of gratitude, I start to feel a very nice feeling in my solar plexus, feeling that the energy movement is going upward. This is when my body becomes relaxed even more and it feels like I finally have a positive feedback. It feels like the other party reacts in a positive way.
The fourth step: “I love you.”
This is the step of freeing yourself. You have previously released the tension, you expressed your sadness, you expressed your gratitude and now you are ready for the final step. That is the unconditional love which is felt in your heart chakra. When I do this, I feel a wonderful feeling in my chest, I feel that this feeling is spreading through my whole body and outside of it.
I often would imagine that I hug the person with whom I have a conflict with, sending her love, and I instantly woud see that person starts to smile. This helps me especially if the conflict is very deep and if my ego kicks in. When I imagine hugging the other person I used to hate, it makes me easier to emanate love. This is similar to the feeling when you look yourself in the mirror and you force yourself to smile, but once you do it, you basically start to feel happy.
The final result is that I felt like the whole process helped me to move the energy of the blocked emotion through my body to be released in my heart and returned to the Source. I must repeat that all four steps are felt from the heart, but I would feel other effects in my body too, which I described above. Sometimes, it takes more than once to do it, especially if the conflict is deep, but eventually the emotions are unblocked completely and transcendent into pure love.
What I love about this whole process is that I can use it on everything. I can use it on people, on situations, on illness in my body, in everything I feel the conflict. And it takes me so little time to do it. I do it along the way whenever I feel I need to do it.